Really, really fattening

Cookies are really, really fattening, especially the chocolate chip kind. Therefore in an effort to almost singlehandedly combat the currently ongoing obesity epidemic and to generally help make the world a better place, I do not condone the use of cookies under any circumstances whatsoever. A single chocolate chip cookie is around 50 calories and as it is a physical impossibility to eat a single chocolate chip cookie, this adds up to quite a lot of calories before the packet is empty. For each chocolate chip cookie you consume, you would need to walk for a good 15 minutes just to burn off the energy contained within it. Alternatively you could jog for 6 minutes, swim for 4 minutes, cycle for 8 minutes or engage in vigorous sexual intercourse for 30 seconds. It is possible to combine these activities so as to reduce the boredom somewhat, but it would require the use of a pocket calculator to even begin to work out how long you would need to ride your bike for, before switching to jogging, swimming or cycling.

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